“So, the picture of the place you took a walk looks beautiful. I’ve been to South Carolina, not that part, but I lived in Charleston. I like the picture, the clouds look amazing. When I was 16, I used to go to the park, lay on the grass, and look up at the sky. I miss the freedom of that, the wind on my face, the sun shining, the sunset and sunrise, the stars. I’ll be free one day, I’m going home and staying home. I don’t want to live like this anymore, like a caged animal. I hate this place, honestly, Iris, but I try to make the best of my situation and don’t let this place get to me. But I truly hate this place, it makes you feel like scum of the earth, the depths of hell is the penitentiary. Except we aren’t dead, we are alive, breathing, but living in hell. Sorry, this is how I feel about prison. Anyway, I’m trying to see if I study they will give me a chance to take the GED test. I’ve been asking around in here. I’m ad-seg, which means I can’t, but I’m still going to try and see if it’s possible for me to do this.”

My surroundings are crazy, sad, pale, lonely, “despair if you let it be.” I just gave you a few words that I feel belong to this place. I would add hatred to it because being here so long makes you feel
that way due to messed up corrections officers or messed up people. This whole place, prison, is really bad. I would call this place burning hell, honestly. If you lived here, you would know, and trust me, I know.

When you wake up to people screaming all out on each other, you could call it debating, but we call it cell warrior because they spitbox. “Bitch, you a hoe! You a snitch! Bitch-ass nigga, I’ll beat your ass!!
I bet you won’t do shit. Shut up, bitch, fuck you!! That’s on my moma, I’ll pop my door and beat your ass, bitch. What you waiting for, pussy!” On top of this, they beat on their doors, clap their hands, or
the most signature tactic, screaming at the top of your lungs like a siren to try to drown out the other person.

I knew a guy that woke up every morning, took a bunch of pills to get high, put earplugs in his ears, and cell warrior all day. This goes on for hours, and I mean hours. Believe me, this goes on for real,
every morning, every night. I wake up to this, but I’ve been here so long that I’ve gotten immune, plus I got earplugs It minimizes the sound, and I’ve got music. It helps sometimes; it’s funny too, what they say.

So, I wake up, brush my teeth, and look at my cell door to see if they are going to run recreation outside my cell door. I see a picket or pod in the middle of the whole wing, which is E-pod, where the corrections
officers sit and push buttons to open cell doors, make sure our doors ain’t open, or if power goes out, they can turn power back on for us like a control center. But I can also see the day room, which is another cage with a TV, pull-up bar, table, sink, toilet. This is where they put us when they do recreation. But we do have an outside rec yard, which is on the pod also at the front.

Another thing I can see when I look out my cell door, I do this every morning while these crazy people are screaming at each other, then next thing you know, they are cool, crazy! They be like, “Shoot me a soup, bitch!” I’m like, “Wow, y’all were just at each other’s throats trying to kill each other, now you’re asking each other for a soup.” So, this is my mornings in solitary confinement. Every morning is like this, believe me, this is hell.

My cell is not big but not small. It’s enough to have a toilet, sink, bed bunk, desk. That’s all, really. The window is a small slit, 3 inches up and across, about 6 feet across. All you see is another prison, Middleton Unit. It’s sad to look outside. Who wants to look out of a window to see another prison? Would you? I rarely look outside, and if I do, I look at the sky mostly. But it makes you sad because you wish you could be outside and feel the wind on your skin or feel the warm heat of the sun. But you’re in a cell 23 hours a day, so that’s over with, literally.

So, on each floor, there are 7 cells. There are only 2 floors, one row and two rows. Each pod has six sections, so my section is C-section, the third section. A whole pod is made up of 84 cells, 14 cells to each section (A-B-C).

 
You get it?

So, my neighbor, thank God, is a good guy, older guy named Rabbit. He’s laid back, respectful. When he calls me, I’m like, “What’s good, Rabbit?” He’s like, “Another day in tyranny :)” I laugh and say, “Yup, another day in hell.” He likes to talk about baseball, Texas Rangers fan, so he tells me the scores of the game, tells me stories about prison in the ’90s. I’m like, “I was born in ’93.” He tells me, “I was at Ferguson Unit at that time, youngster :)” I laugh. He’s okay, but I talk to him daily.

Also, another friend named Lil B, he tells me about the world, family. When they feed us and it’s a bad tray, he yells out, “Stop the oppression!!” I say, “For real!” It’s kind of funny the way we interact.

I also talk to another guy named Bobcat, a black guy. He’s funny, really. When he’s bored, he bangs on his door and says, “Hello!!”

On one row, there’s a guy named John, which screams all day for no apparent reason. So, Bobcat always says, “Shut the fuck up…”So, Bobcat yells out, “Shut the fuck up, John!” John’s like, “You shut the fuck up then!” Bobcat says, “I’m not talking to you.” Como, another black guy, back doors Bobcat with, “Fuck you, John! You’re a coward when that guy in population pulled his dick out, what did you do, John? Bitch! You sucked that dick, hoe!” They are speaking about him, John getting solitary confinement for protective custody for being sexually assaulted. Another guy says, “Why you got so many dicks in your mouth, John!” John screams at the top of his lungs, “Fuck you!” Bangs on the door repeatedly to drown them out. I just laugh and go back to what I’m doing. I really know everybody and talk to everybody since I’ve been here so long. But Rabbit/Lil B/Bobcat and my other neighbor from across the way, Low Down, which I run line with and talk to on another section, D-section, he’s cool, good friend of mine. But these are the people I talk to every day.

So, my daily routine is 9am workout, bath afterwards. Then I go to recreation, get some pull-ups in, and interact with other people on one row. By the time I get my recreation in, I go back to my cell, stretch out, read, chill for a little, study, draw things to keep my mind busy. This is basically my whole day, honestly. But I always try to stay busy, doing something to help better myself. Plus, you have all this extra time on your hands, why not use it to better yourself?

But not everyone is the same. Most guys want to go out and sell drugs, be kingpins. I’m thinking in my head, this guy is coming back to prison, so I try to be better. So, other prisoners choose their own thing.
You got people that cell warrior or others that gamble on the sports games that come out on TV, like NBA playoffs. Others talk to themselves, seriously, no bullshit! Or people who get high on their own psych medicine. Yup, so many things, it’s crazy in here.

But I like the nighttime when it’s quiet. I just like to chill at night, read a really good book, and hear music. Nighttime is when it’s quiet, calm, there’s peace. Daytime is wild, honestly. Cell warriors scream, yell all day. You got some at night, but not on my section. They live on other sections, so it’s cool at night.

I’ve been in solitary confinement for 10 years, and it’s been a wild 10 years. Been through so much bullshit back in solitary confinement. You wouldn’t want to even spend a couple of minutes back here because it truly affects your sanity. I’ve seen so many good people lose their minds. They start speaking to themselves, thinking that you’re talking about them. Next thing you know, he’s eating his own shit, throwing piss or shit on people. Honestly, this is true. If you ever meet a security officer that works in a Texas prison in solitary confinement, ask them. It’s crazy, and they probably have gotten shit or piss thrown at them or seen a lot back here. This place drives you crazy if you ain’t strong mentally.

So, people get put in solitary confinement for protective custody, confirmed S.T.G membership, staff assaultive, excess amount of cases, escape risk, etc. The list goes on. The most important tip I can give you is don’t get solitary confined. You will not see the light of day, literally. I’ve met people who have been back here for years. The longest I’ve known is 45 years. A 64-year-old still sane, also in great shape too, works out like crazy, and I mean he’s ripped up, for real. He’s actually going home next year, 46 years in solitary confinement.

But yeah, avoid this place. But if you do end up back here, I’d say read, keep your mind busy, work out, socialize with others that are there, and try your best to keep your mind strong because you can and will lose it if you’re not strong-minded. But overall, stay away from this place. Honestly, that’s the best advice I can give… Iris, I hope this helps. Take care and best of luck.