You know, a cell made me write this. I have been in solitary confinement for going on 12 years, and I have been strong. But as I have run across many people, they all say these cells make you go crazy. I’ve read articles that state solitary confinement is cruel and unusual punishment. Countless lawsuits have been stacked up in Texas, making a class action lawsuit on solitary confinement, which I found to be true. I met a guy that was okay, good people. You could talk to him, but later he would yell at you. Then I ran across another good guy who said, “I talk to myself in here.” I told the guy, “It’s okay to speak out loud, but don’t answer yourself because that’s how it starts. From there, you lose your mind.” I’ve heard people think you were talking about them. People scream, “You don’t even know me!” to people crying, saying, “I didn’t even do anything!” One guy met Donald Trump, which turned out to be his cousin, and this just goes on. People start hearing voices, seeing things, and they get paranoid. Schizophrenia is a thing; it’s crazy. So, a cell does affect you. Solitary confinement hurts your mental health, and it just plain affects you long-term. You have to be strong, really strong, mentally strong, because it will get to you.
Well, I have been strong until I got put in a cell, the same cell I started in from the get-go on this unit. The cell was sealed completely. I went through a cleaning process, but this cell had bad energy. It seemed like someone had died in there. I kept feeling a bad feeling inside my stomach: sadness, frustration, anger, and stress. They were attacking all at once. I would be good, then look at my door, and the emotions would come out. Here I go again. I got angry with my friend, whom I love and care for dearly. I told her I was sorry, but this cell was affecting me inside, and I did not like it at all. The thing is, I’m not an angry person. The real me is always laughing, joking, smiling, patient, and slow to anger. I honestly talk even though people might think I’m crazy, scary, or antisocial. If I don’t know you well, I don’t really talk to strangers, but I always keep my formalities and respect with those people. Once you get to know me, I’m okay. I just look crazy with all the tattoos, but my cell affected my behavior, and I did not like this at all.
I prayed to God, and day by day, I would feel okay. Then the feelings would come back. This is how I came to write this and tell you these cells and solitary confinement do affect you personally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, all the way around. Just right now, I can hear my neighbor speak to himself, saying, “I broke into their house and stole everything.” Then he says, “If I did, then who gives a fuck? I was here with my grandma?” Cruel and unusual punishment, yes. Solitary confinement is cruel, and these cells hurt you. Honestly, they do. Can you do years at a time in solitary and not be affected? You are only human, just like we all are. If you’re not strong, this place will drive you crazy. So, be strong and pray to God you don’t lose your mind because these cells will affect you mentally. I have experienced this firsthand and have come to hate solitary confinement for forcing us into insanity.