I met Ray through Adopt an Inmate, a non-profit that connects inmates with caring adopters to correspond to each other in November, 2022. It’s essentially a pen pal program but the founders of the organization Melissa Schmidt and Rick Fisk have grand visions for the program and hope that by providing this connection, it will provide emotional support to inmates and facilitate rehabilitation and re-entry into society.

Ray is a 29-year-old young man, a former gangster currently in solitary confinement in a Texas prison. He is a US born Mexican who grew up with economic hardship but nonetheless in an environment with love, among caring family members. He joined a gang at 10 and was in and out of juvenile detention centers and state prison in his formative years. He got into prison due to a gangster fight when he went to Texas to take care of his grandfather and his sentence was extended from 4 years to 28 years due to a conflict with an officer in prison. He got put into solitary confinement as a result of it. When we met via snail mail in November 2022, he had been in solitary confinement for 9 years. Ray is also a tattoo artist and passionate about the art form. He told me that he has tattoos all over his body and also some on his face.

I’m a market researcher with my own insights consulting practice. I was born in China and grew up in China, Hong Kong and Taiwan. I spent my formative years in Taiwan, went to the most prestigious senior high school and college through extremely competitive entrance exams, came to the US for my graduate studies and built my market research career here.

Ray and I have completely different upbringing, cultural backgrounds and life trajectories that under normal circumstances we would have never crossed paths.

But life is full of surprises! When Adopt an Inmate founder Melissa Schmidt sent me the profiles of five inmates that applied to the program, I picked Ray because I felt he needed help the most since he is in solitary confinement. Why he got into solitary confinement is beside the point. The fact that I decided to write to him or decided to participate in the program in the first place, means I am willing to look beyond the past.

From his first letter, I was impressed by his candidness and sense of humor. Although he said he doesn’t trust people and keeps a poker face when he is around other people, he tells me his life stories.
This is coming from someone who describes himself as “a rogue in the world” and carried a weapon everywhere he went. I feel that I get to see all the good sides of him that no one else has ever seen.
I’m also very impressed that despite long term solitary confinement, he has managed to maintain sanity, empathy, and optimism. He has matured from “a rogue in the world” to an avid reader, thirsty for
all kinds of knowledge and eager to better himself for reentry into society.

In one of his letters, he told me how he helps other inmates.

“I’ve been here a decade. I know some good people that ain’t got no one. Those same people, I bless, even when I’m on my last, Iris. I still give. I have a good heart. Sometimes they call me on the run,
just yell and be like, “Do you have soap?” I’m like, “You need some?” Or they ask for a soup, I’m like, “You’re hungry?” I always tell them, “I got them.” I have a neighbor, every time they run commissary, I send him soap, cookies (he likes those), and soups, pen, pencils, paper, you know. And I don’t even have it like that, but I hustle in here, draw like crazy. Even if I don’t go to commissary, I still have something I worked for. So if they ask, I don’t mind. I know the struggle, I know how it feels.”

And despite all he has seen and experienced in the streets and in solitary confinement, there is still optimism.

“But discrimination… yeah, I got all my tattoos mostly in the world when I was out, so I had all these face tattoos. And, well, it was hard for me because I went to Boston to work. So they take pictures of
all of us; it was a big construction company. They saw me and my records and said, “Not him.” So I had to go back. People were like, “I’ll help you out.” My cousin tried also. They wouldn’t hire me because of the tattoos. I overheard a conversation he was having with his boss. My cousin said, “But why? I have tattoos too.” Yeah, I’ve been through that, but I’ll be okay. Just can’t give up. But Iris, this is who I am.
I can’t change that, nor will I remove the tattoos. They are a part of me. They remind me that despite my image, I can still do better, still be successful. I’m still a good guy.”

Through our correspondence via snail mail and email, we have forged a connection unlike any other. I appreciate him as much as he appreciates me. We share life stories and different perspectives about all kinds of topics including his upbringing, culture, and life in prison. He is very well read, poetic and artistic. I send him GED study guides and books, fictional and non-fictional, that I think he would be interested in or about topics that he is interested in. The stories that he shares with me often reflect the harsh reality of his personal life and prison life but somehow, he manages to crack me up with his sense of humor. Btw, did I say that he is a great storyteller? He is also very poetic and a talented artist.

In one of his letters, he wrote:

“My favorite color is gray. I guess it’s because it’s my preference in art: black and gray. But I have always liked gray before I could draw. But I do agree with you on your opinion of colors and combinations…
I say this as an artist, but as a person too, because I like being outdoors. So, in the cell I’m in, I have a window. I can see outside. So when the sun sets, there is a mixture of colors: blue, green, orange,
red throughout the clouds. God, the sight is beautiful. It’s like the clouds change colors along with the sky. It’s why I said this and like being outside.”

I’m always amazed how he manages to create art from almost nothing in prison.

I proposed building a website sharing his art and his stories and he was game.

So here we are. This blog is a collaboration between me and Ray to document his journey from “a rogue in the world” to prison to reentry into society. Each post will cover a different topic. I will send Ray a list of questions (the market researcher side of me of being inquisitive comes in handy here), he will answer them and add anything else that he wants to say, I will edit and send it back to him for approval. Some of the content will be created from our correspondence with Ray’s approval.

We hope that through these stories, the project will bring awareness of solitary confinement, Adopt an Inmate and also allow you to know Ray as a person. And through authentic storytelling, we can influence real changes in prison reform and the end of solitary confinement. And personally, I hope that when Ray is released, there is a community to support him and a platform for him to be himself, and a home for him as he has yearned for many years. Ray’s sentence ends in 2039. He has been in solitary confinement for 10 years and the rest of his sentence is still, well, solitary confinement. I’m glad to be able to provide a ray of hope on his long climb back to life, back to freedom.

“I’m glad you wrote. I’m always glad to hear from you. You always give me freedom. I feel like I can touch the world when I speak to you, like close my eyes and be free. I’ll be home one day. This time, I’m staying home.”