This world is black and dark with so much silence. On his knees, he kneels; tears run down his cheekbones. There’s blood everywhere. He’s holding someone. Please! sobs… wake up, more sobs, please! Someone, please! Help! Help me! His cries go unheard while he holds a person that’s dear to him, gone, dead, and more blood on his hands, clothes, blood—it’s everywhere. Please! Don’t take him, please! God, save him! Anything! His cries die down silently, and he whispers, “Anything. I’ll give anything,” just to give his life back. Tears falling like raindrops, so sad.

He looks up, more blood, more bodies. He screams out at the top of his lungs… the monster wakes up panting, out of breath, it’s hard to breathe. He’s sweating and his heart is racing. Fuck! He gets up, reaching for his gun. It’s OK, FAM, it’s just a dream. He looks up, still lost from the dream. He realizes he’s awake, and all the blood is gone—stupid dreams, fuck! He stretches and walks to the restroom, puts water on his face, looks in the mirror, and puts the gun to his head. “You’re a monster, FAM.” The monster stares back at him, mirrors him, and corrupts his thoughts. He smiles, but it’s a predatory smile, a monster showing his fangs. He goes back into the room, disassembles the gun, cleans every part, and takes his time patiently going through a process. This calms him; slowly, he puts the gun back together, kisses the gun, and whispers, “You’re an angel, bitch. Don’t fail me now.” It’s the only friend he has, it’s reliable, and never fails to save his life. The gun goes into his waistband, he puts extra clips in his pocket, walks out, and embraces the sun, lifting his chin, closing his eyes, sigh! “Was good, Mexican?” The monster never responds, only frowns and makes facial gestures. The frown seems permanent.

“Homie, say new boo, FAM.” 13 seconds. The monster just nods and points with his hand. The new homie is a kid, about 12 years old. He kneels in front of him and tells him, “This ain’t for you, FAM, but if this what you want, know that this life is dangerous.” The kid holds his head up high, defiantly, he whispers, “So be it.” The monster moves so fast, that his fist connects with the kid’s jaw. He doesn’t even have time to respond, the kid gets crushed down. Three thirteen seconds seem like minutes, and those seconds are nothing but pain for the kid, which is balling up, and this makes it worse for the kid, which gets crushed, time!

The kid is crying, the monster helps him up, the kid is crying, the monster tells him, “Gangsters don’t cry, fam. Keep your head up and don’t never put your head down, fuck’s wrong with you.” The kid just nods, but his tears keep falling, so the monster tells him, “Follow me, like homie.” He reaches into his pocket, pulls out some smoke, and lights it. He tells the lil’ homie, “Hit that hoe.”The kid smokes, coughs like crazy, chokes on the smoke. The monster smiles for the first time, but as the kid looks up, the monster is smiling. He smiles back, so he says the smoke helps the kid feel happy, so the monster leads him to a broken-down trap house. Bricks are decaying, and the place looks like a ruin. He moves some bricks out of the way, kind of like a puzzle. The kid says, “Big homie, you lost some?” He just nods, then reaches in a hole where the bricks were, and pulls out money, drugs, and an old .38 special revolver. The gun’s a little rusty and has duct tape on the handle. He gives the gun to the kid and tells him, “This your best friend from now on.” He points to the wall and shows him a spray paint tagging of an 18 and tells him, “They are the enemy. Shoot first or die first, you hear me, FAM!” The kid nods but looks at the gun, amazed. He hands the kid a bankroll. He says, “This your money, but be smart and use it to make more money. I’ll show you.”

He hears sirens, “Those are the enemy too. You never talk to them, and these tiny packs make you more money. You’ll catch on, FAM. This is the crazy life, mi vida loca,” in Spanish, he tells him. Now that you’re one of us, you have to breathe darkness. So the monster gets inside his head and breathes his dark ways into the kid and the kid embraces evil with his whole heart. Another person on his way to the dark side.